You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
