She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Randomize
