After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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