also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
