I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
tequila makes me forget i have legs
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
