I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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