we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
