Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
