Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
