I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
