Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
