you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
