Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
