The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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