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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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