remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
