i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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