4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Everything about him screamed your future.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
