he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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