I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
