u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
