I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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