..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
