Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
