Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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