i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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