he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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