whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
