My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
What a dumb baby whore.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
