Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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