Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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