I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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