u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
