You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
