if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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