Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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