I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
