New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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