Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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