I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I love having hate sex.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just want to make out with him forever
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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