I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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