she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
