She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
