dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
