Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
