The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
