at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
