I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
