the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
