yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
