I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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