Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
